literature

Current Events

Deviation Actions

joe-wright's avatar
By
Published:
516 Views

Literature Text

Thomas Edison sniffed the cold January air and scowled. Direct current was a gold mine, and now here came alternating current to take it all away from him. There was nothing for it, his back was against the wall. He had to electrocute an elephant.

Once people saw alternating current frying an elephant, they'd be sure to come back to him. After all, his invention hadn't murdered any animals that people knew of. If he couldn't earn the high ground, he could still push Westinghouse and Tesla into the mud.

He watched, self-satisfied as 6600 volts slammed through the harnessed elephant. He was slightly less satisfied when the elephant grew twenty feet and started to obliterate the crowd with its laser eyes.

Shit. thought Edison, This didn't happen to any of those stray cats and homeless people I tested it on. I have to put some spin on this, sharpish.

“Alas, if only direct current had been used!” he announced loudly as panicked men and women rushed past him. “When will we learn that only direct current can prevent the creation of super-powered murder elephants? Also it makes you more attractive to the opposite sex.”

The elephant broke away from its restraints and charged out of view trumpeting the Ride of the Valkyries, leaving Edison standing in the smouldering remains of a now almost empty amusement park.

“What a bastard that Tesla is,” he shouted to nobody in particular.
FFM day ten, and it's Nikola Tesla's birthday! Let's celebrate the wonders of alternating current by electrocuting an elephant.
© 2015 - 2024 joe-wright
Comments12
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
GDeyke's avatar
This is amazing, just amazing. I think my own satisfaction grows with inverse proportionality to Thomas Edison's. Also it makes you more attractive to the opposite sex was a brilliant touch.